I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the moment. Just possibly she may be the wisest woman on this planet. Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven’t thought about it, don’t have it on their schedule, didn’t know it was coming, or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I’ve tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn’t suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word “refrigeration” mean nothing to you? How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched “Jeopardy!” on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, “How about going to lunch in a half hour?”
She would gasp and stammer, “I can’t.” The reason? Check one:

I have clothes on the line.
My hair is dirty.
I wish I had known yesterday.
I had a late breakfast.
It looks like rain.
And my personal favorite: It’s Monday.

She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because we cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect:

We’ll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained.
We’ll entertain when we replace the living room carpet.
We’ll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer.

One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of “I’m going to,” “I plan on,” and “Someday, when things are settled down a bit.” When anyone calls my “seize the moment” friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you’re ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of roller-blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It’s just that I might as well apply it directly to my hips with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now…go on and have a nice day.

Do something you WANT to…not something on your SHOULD DO list.

Hear the music before the song is over.

John Calvin in Institutes of the Christian Religion says it like this:

“We teach that all human desires are evil, and charge them with sin – not that they are natural, but because they are inordinate.”

On other words, our issue often is not in what we want but in the fact that we want too much. If I am to grow deeper in my trust-relationship with God in 2010 I not only need to consider the object of my desire, but also the degree to which my desire has a hold of me. I must grasp that most sinful activity often lies in the ruling status of my desire, and not simply the object of my desire.

For example, let’s imagine there is a store owner who happens to be a follower of Jesus and is robbed at gun-point by a Hispanic male. The incident leaves the man in emotional shock for some days. Soon the feelings of being robed are replaced with an undertow of anger and disgust at the injustice perpetrated on him. So far so good. All of the feelings and desires at this point are normal and appropriate. Stealing is wrong. Injustice in society needs to be opposed. Then it begins to happen. The desire for justice soon gives way to the store owner becoming suspicious of all Hispanic males who enter his store. The quick glances turn into icy stares. The inviting store owner turns into a closed, bitter man who won’t let himself being taken advantage of again. Is it wrong for this store owner to not want to be hurt again? Is it wrong to want to stomp out criminal activity? No. Is it wrong to assume all Hispanics are potential robbers? Yes. Is it wrong to place possessions above people? Yes. To treat people in a prejudicial way? Yes. Do you see the distinction? The store owner has a natural and proper desire for justice. However, his proper and natural desire mutates into a ruling desire that taints and then poisons his outlook and behavior. The store owner begins to treat male Hispanics entering his store with sinful contempt. He needs to repent.

Or, consider the wife who is married to a man who has had an adulterous relationship. The result of which leads to a crushing hurt and deep mistrust of the wife toward her husband. The husband repents of his sinful behavior and takes steps to enter into weekly accountability. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months of loving fidelity. The husband has demonstrated faithfulness and has honored the Lord in his covenant of marriage. However, his wife is struggling. She has an abiding desire to hover over her husband. She goes out of her way to notice how he talks and looks at other women. She wonders what may be happening when she is not around. Does he flirt? What is he hiding? Am I enough to satisfy him? These mental questions turn into pestering questions. Eventually, the wife allows her imagination (i.e. desire) to build a wall so high that her husband will never be able to be faithful enough. How can he compete with her imagination? What could be wrong with her not wanting to be hurt again? All she wants is for her husband to be faithful, to honor God. How could that be wrong? The natural and proper desire for a faithful husband in and of itself is certainly not wrong. It is the degree of the desire that is wrong. To think that she can guarantee the fidelity of her husband by playing the role of God is what is wrong. It is sinful. Why? She is not God. The wife is functionally acting as if she is God and thereby placing her trust in her ability to keep her husband faithful. The natural desire for her husband to be faithful to her has migrated into a ruling desire that is poisoning their relationship. She needs to repent and take her place beside her husband and not above her husband.

How can we strike a balance between natural desires and ruling desires? Again, Jesus is our example. When Jesus was suffering under the natural desire to not be tortured and killed, he also faced a ruling desire to retreat from trusting in the Father for the outcome. Can you see the distinction in the garden of Gethsemane?

37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will…” 42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” Matthew 26:37-42

Jesus faced a natural desire to escape the death that was coming, a death that would bring an agony of such gigantic proportions that Jesus was petitioning the Father for another way. Any way. However, Jesus never let this natural desire migrate to a ruling desire. Jesus holds the Father’s will above his own: “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” Jesus helps us find the key to solving the riddle of desire gone too far – always place God’s desire over your own desire. In example #1, the store owner needs to love God through loving people regardless of how that may mean he exposes himself to being robbed. He must trust God for the outcome, regardless of what that may mean for him. Trust that God will use his to glorify himself, even if that may mean he will be killed by a robber. The man needs to fixate on the example of Jesus and the grace of God through the Holy Spirit will renew his feelings and stave off prejudice.

In example #2, it means a wife needs to find her significance in the Lord and trust that the Lord is strong enough to guide her husband (and guide her) through whatever may come to pass. This sounds scary to many of us because it sounds like we are so completely out of control. However, consider this: was the store owner really ever in control? Was the wife really ever able to dictate faithfulness to her husband? Our desires seduce us into thinking that if we let them have lordship over our actions that we somehow will gain control. Don’t be deceived, this is not about gaining or losing control, this is about recognizing the legitimate degree that our desires should have when it comes to living life. When we refuse to let our natural desires turn into ruling desires we find we must trust in God since He is the one who is really in control. This perspective will, by necessity, lead to a grace-dependent, trust oriented life rooted in the character of God.

So, as I venture into the New Year, I desire to grow deeper with the Lord by not just avoiding things that are sinful and evil, but by understanding the distinction between my natural desires and ruling desires that are so often the epicenter of my spiritual immaturity.

It is at precisely this point that the personal story and strength to persevere pours out of the person and along with it the theme of the continual grace of God. Without the hardship there would be no need for heavenly grace and without heavenly grace there is no mention of an all-powerful and gracious God. I can’t think of a more vivid example of this dynamic than Joni Eareckson Tada.

Friends who have seen Joni recently have said that she has been really struggling lately with her health and that she is in need of much prayer. Justin Taylor asked her how readers of his blog could pray for her. She wrote:

I’ve been doing better and feeling much stronger since that presentation at the Dallas Theological Seminary chapel (see video below). If I were to ask for anything, I would say…

• Pray that my fragile bones become stronger.
• Ask God to infuse courage into my heart daily!
• Over all, my pain levels are getting much better but still, please pray away any anxiety.
• Help me not to become me-centered when I’m in pain!
• Pain medication is never fun to take. Pray that soon and very soon I won’t have to lean as heavily on it.
• Plead to God that I might know Jesus better through all of this and not “waste” my sufferings!!

As you linger in prayer this week, please consider taking these requests before the throne of grace.