Effective communication now often depends on how many bars you have on your cell phone. What about the signal in your house? How many bars do you have when it comes to communicating with your spouse?
Made for Companionship
We were not made to be alone. In the beginning, God created us to be in a relationship with Him and with each other. Uniquely he created man and woman to live as husband and wife. Genesis 2:18-25 points out how God created man and woman for companionship.
18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.22 And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made8 into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bonesand flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
What glorious news to us!! God, in his kindness to us, made man and woman to be in companionship with one another as husband and wife. God placed such a high value on the companionship between man and woman that there were to be joined in a one-flesh union, devoted entirely to one another as lifelong companions (v24). This was not a result of the Fall of mankind (Genesis 3) but from the beginning was part of God’s design. In fact, the creation of man and woman is an overflow of God’s character as a Triune God who enjoys the fellowship between Father, Son, and Spirit. Therefore, the companionship of a husband and wife today is to be treated with great care, honor, and devotion. A husband and his wife then should foster and pour energy into having a healthy God-honoring relationship.
One way to promote such companionship is through regular and intentional communication
A husband and wife should continually seek to grow in their relationship and create a deep abiding affection for one another by trying to care about the details of their spouse’s life.
And this communication is more than about what’s for dinner and what the family schedule entails this week. Our conversations as spouses should seek to understand the deeper thoughts, feelings, and passions of our spouse.
Now, I can almost hear many of you groaning about how unrealistic and difficult this may sound. I can hear it now, “Have you tried having a conversation with my husband? It’s all I can do to get a few words out of him and even then, he doesn’t communicate much beyond surface details.” Or “I don’t know what questions to ask my wife. I’m not sure how to pursue her and ask intentional questions about her thoughts and feelings.”
To be sure, communication in a fallen world can be difficult. One reason that it is so tricky is that we often treat it as a self-centered way of getting things done in life. We too often communicate because we want to get something done or we need something from others. Instead, we should turn our attention outward and seek to bring value to the lives of others, in this case specifically our spouse.
Are you seeking to foster healthy communication with your spouse?
Here are 5 questions to consider asking your spouse this week
- What are you learning right now?
- How can I pray for you? Serve you?
- Who do you currently look up to as a role model?
- Have I offended you in anyway recently that we need to talk about?
- What’s on your mind these days (positive or negative)?